The Awesome Desk of Awesomeness

     Since the point of a blog (as near as I can figure, anyway) is to blather on endlessly to anonymous strangers about things only interesting to one's own self, I figured I would write about my latest endeavor, namely the completion of the Awesome Desk of Awesomeness.

     First, a little back story: As I mentioned in my last post, I like to fancy myself as something of a wood carving wolf, so I suppose that it's no surprise that I have an attraction to wooden furniture, the richer the better. (When I say "richer" I am referring to the depth of the color & the beauty of the wood grain, not the price tag! I am not exactly a wealthy wolf, you know!) Anyway in keeping with my "wood attraction" most of the furnishings in my private den (also known as a bedroom) are made of wood, including the desk that plays host to my Trusty Computer. Well, okay technically my current PC is really Trusty Computer III, but as I only ever have one PC at a time I don't mention any previous PCs to my current one out of respect for their feelings. Anyway, as the same desk has played host to all 3 PCs to date I think this is a minor point & was - quite frankly - not even worth mentioning.

Urm....

     Well, anyway the desk I was using was quite functional & had been with me since sometime around my late Elementary/early Middle School days.

It was sturdy.
It was pretty.
It was reliable.

But it wasn't exactly on the "big" side. (Turns out that I am quite a bit bigger than I was back in grade school. Go figure.)

     So for the last few years I have been on the lookout for what I perceived to be the perfect replacement desk. It had to be wood, but was best unfinished so I could do my own staining, which I love. It had to be affordable (as I mentioned before I am not a particularly rich wolf) & most importantly it had to be the right size. This was was where things got really sticky, as the desk in question not only had to accommodate me & my 6' frame + a PC, it also had to fit in one very specific spot as my "den" is packed to the gills. Then of course there was the printer/scanner/copier, the scanner (yes, I have a stand alone scanner too- stop judging me!) the Wacom tablet, the snazzy new stereo my mother had given me (which was currently relegated to a spot on the floor) the battery-backup surge protector, the game controller (both of which actually sit on a shelf above the desk but I wanted to mention them anyway) the computer speakers & my bizarre assortment of pens/highlighters/markers that I liked to keep close by. Oh yes, then there's my 3 computer mice (one I normally use, one the goes with the Wacom tablet & one that my uncle gave me that sits on my monitor & changes color- I said stop judging me!)

     In short, the new desk had a hell of a "must have" list, which was why I had pretty much resigned myself to making do with what I had...until I happened to be in the parking lot of a local "strip mall" (more like a haphazard collection of owner-run shops) this last December & noticed that the local furniture store had it's usual display of clearance stuff sitting out front...

...including, the Awesome Desk of Awesomeness.

     It was sitting on the left-most end of the row of furniture that had been placed outside in the freezing temperature it hopes of attracting interested customers. (The only businesses that have decent "people traffic" in this shopping center are the grocery store, the gas station, the feline veterinary clinic & the pizza joint. The other shop owners really have to struggle to get people to to come to their stores. Quite frankly, I am surprised they last as long as many of them do.) Now granted, I was virtually on the other side of the parking lot at the time, but even from that distance I could tell that the Awesome Desk of Awesomeness was different from any of the desks I had seen during my years of desk searching. I could tell it was big & I could see that it was unfinished (which is surprisingly hard to find these days, at least locally) but the thing that really grabbed my attention was that the pull-out drawer where the keyboard was to go seemed much longer than usual...long enough, in fact to accommodate a mouse pad & a Wacom tablet.

     I was so attracted to the desk that after our workout (which is why we where at the "mall" in the first place) I talked mom into walking over to look at the desk up close. The desk was even more perfect than I could have imagined, both in size & space (it had separate compartments for both a CPU & a printer!) but when I looked at the price tag, my heart fell when I saw the $295 asking price. Granted, the original price was over almost $600 (and it had been reduced once before to the high $300s)  but still it seemed like a lot of money to spend, even for such an amazing desk, so I sadly trudged away. However seeing the desk mad me think that there had to be something else (cheaper) out there somewhere, so mom & I began to poke around on the internet & see what we could find.

     What we found was that it seems that it is ridiculously hard to find desks of any real size that don't require you to sell your organs to afford them. That $295 asking price was beginning to look like a pretty good one, but I'm a rather stubborn wolf & had convinced myself that I "couldn't" have the desk (how was I ever going to get the thing home?) so we kept searching. After a little more digging, mom found what looked like a decent contender listed for sale at - of all places - Ikea. I say "of all places" because despite the fact that I live relatively close to one of the few Ikea stores in the country, I had yet to set foot in the place. In fact, most of my Ikea knowledge (aside from what I see in their virtually continuous add campaigns) has been gathered via the Ikea SP (Stuff Pack) for my beloved Sims 2 game.

In short, my Sims have had more experience with Ikea stuff than I have.

     Deciding that I should really go see what all the fuss is about (& still in denial about the desk I was destined to have) the family & I decided to go to Ikea & see the place for ourselves. So what did we think? Urm...let's just say that our Ikea experience was more than worthy of it's own post & since this post is getting long as it is, I will skip the gory details for now except to say that A) the desk I had gone to see was out of stock & B) if you are in anyway claustrophobic you should never ever ever set foot in an Ikea store, period. (Holy shit, how in the bloody hell is that place so goddamn popular??? Is everyone else on this stupid planet fucking insane???)

     It was about this time that I was beginning to realize what I had known on some level the very first time I saw the Awesome Desk of Awesomeness: it was destined to be mine, no matter what it did to my bank account. (That's the problem with awesomeness: it doesn't often come cheap.) So after a few more days of me trying to talk myself out of it, I finally went ahead & bought the damn thing with my Xmas money. (The details of the purchase - or more precisely - the experience with the shop's owner are also worthy of their very own post, but for now I will just say this: There's a reason so many of the small businesses in my area are constantly struggling....)

     So to make a long story short (too late!) I have been spending the last 3 weeks sanding, staining & finishing the Awesome Desk of Awesomeness to it's properly amazing self. There were a couple touch-n-go moments (like when I got it home & realized just how big the thing really was) but in the end things worked out fine. The old desk was removed & the Awesome desk is now in place & getting used to it's new duties as a computer desk/stuff holder.

     I thought I would end this ludicrously long post with some pictures of the Awesome Desk of Awesomeness at various stages of the finishing process. (A big thanks to my dad who took the pictures!)

     Okay, picture one is the Awesome Desk of Awesomeness in it's unfinished/naked state:

Keep in mind that this thing is (in inches) 62 long x 23 wide x 34 tall whereas the old desk was 33 long x 14 wide x 28 tall...so it is a lot bigger than what I used to have!

     Picture two is the Awesome Desk with several coats of stain on it:

Ignore the stupid Shop-Vac. I was doing this project in the rec-room/basement area in front of my bedroom & there's a fair bit of clutter there. I like this shot as it shows the various pull-out drawers the desk has. That's a mahogany stain, if anyone cares.

Lastly we have picture three, taken mere minutes before dad & I wheeled the Awesome Desk into place:

Oooohhhhh. So shiny! That's 5 coats of a satin finish topped of with 2 coats of spray gloss. What can I say, I like shiny objects! (Of course it took me only minutes to scratch that finish when I was wrestling the damn CPU into it's drawer. @#$%!!!!!)

Okay, that's enough pointless blathering for now, so I think I'll sign off...until I decide to write about Ikea or my desk buying adventure details....* shudder *.....