So anyway, one of the first things one learns when one is a new carver is that you should always - but always - keep your tools sharp. This is second only to the Carver's Cardinal Rule, "Don't bleed on the wood!" (This is very important as blood is an absolute bitch to remove from wood & it always likes to splatter on the parts you hadn't planned on painting.) The reason for keeping one's tools razor sharp is that sharp tools cut better & better cuts mean cleaner cuts, on wood & on flesh. This speeds up the finishing or healing time, depending on the material cut.
The next thing one learns when one is a wood carver is that most carving injuries actually don't happen when you are carving, but rather when you are doing something else. For instance, one of the most common sources of injury is when it's time to clean the shavings off your workspace & rather than go over & get the whisk broom (which is usually all of 10 feet away from you) you decide to use your hand to sweep the shavings onto the floor & manage to impale yourself on a splinter. Another frequent source of ouch-ness is when you accidentally knock a chisel off your table & decide that trying to catch it makes more sense than just letting it hit the floor. (Hint for the stupid: floors don't bleed!) In short, most carving injuries happen when the carver is either lazy or not thinking straight...
...which is exactly what happened to me last night at carving class. (Technically, "Carving Class #2" as it was Tuesday & I also take classes - with a different instructor - on Thursdays. So why is Tuesday #2 & Thursday #1? Because I started my Thurday classes a good two years before my Tuesday ones.)
I had decided to put away one of the two rolls of tools I had out on my bench when I noticed that roll #3 (which was still inside my "tool tote") was laying at a diagonal angle instead of nice & straight like normal. As this meant that I wouldn't be able to put may other tool rolls away (as roll #3 was effectively taking up 2 spaces) I decided that I needed to rectify the situation.
Here's where the smart part of my brain gave up control to the other 90%.
The smart thing to do would have been to remove roll #3 & re-insert it into my tool roll cubbyhole so that it was no longer at an angle, thereby making it possible to place all 3 rolls in the cubbyhole. Of course this would mean that I would have to go through all the trouble of removing roll #3, after which I would then have to put back (which was at least as non-time consuming as it would have been to remove it) so I decided to just straighten the offending tool roll where it was & eliminate the whole take-it-out-and-put-it-back thing. Of course this meant that I would need to slide my hand into the cubbyhole (into which I can't see, by the way) & shove the back end of the roll into place...but hey, it was still way faster than taking the whole roll out & putting it back by a good 5 seconds at least!
So I stick my hand inside the compartment & try pushing the roll back where it belongs.
No dice. The tool roll won't budge & I think I hear it snicker.
No problem, I'll just give it a harder push...
Again, no dice. The roll stands firm & the snicker becomes a cackle.
Screw you, tool roll! I'll show you! Take that!
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Did you know...
...that it is entirely possible for chisels to loose their protective caps?
...that duct tape makes a really good top-layer for a bandage & 5 layers of gauze?
...that it has taken me almost 2 hours to write everything above the asterisk marks?
Oh, & sharp tools not only cut cleaner than dull ones, they also cut a lot deeper...
